There’s no greater gift than your time
Loneliness is becoming a growing problem for the elderly and we can all do something to help, reports Sophie McLean.
Age UK is working hard to support the elderly by encouraging young people to get involved through their campaign, “Share What You Love.”
New research from Age Scotland found that as many as one in six older people (184,000) agreed that they often feel more alone at Christmas than any other time of the year.
Pat Ryan, 75, lives in a residential nursing home in Glasgow and believes that loneliness is something that young and older people have in common.
She said: “For older people, loneliness is a terrible thing. Some younger people seem to have a problem with it too, maybe because they don’t like to open up either.
Pat believes young people and older people should develop friendships.
“You’re sitting, you have nobody to talk to, you don’t see anybody from morning to night, seven days a week and it is a lonely, lonely life, but you then get used to it.
“It is quite sad, you are sitting there yourself sometimes and you go, “Why am I sitting here?” and “Why am I here?”
Pat was always very independent. However, she was moved into a care home once her health started to deteriorate.
She describes the environment as, “a very helpful and a very happy one” due to her carers who look after her and lift her spirits when she feels down. However, she doesn’t have any family or friends apart from those who also live in the residence.
She said: “The staff cope very well. It is quite difficult because some people who live in here can’t communicate very well.
“I don’t get visitors, but a lot of them do. Those who have family, they come and visit them. They bring their grandchildren in to keep them going.
“It would be nice if the older ones and younger ones got together and developed a friendship because then it wouldn’t be so lonely for elderly people and it could educate the younger ones.
“I think I would get a different aspect of their life and I love talking. I would do that until the cows come home. I do miss conversation at my level.”
Although our time is precious, we could all find it in ourselves to connect with our local community and meet new people.
Christmas is often a difficult time of year for people who have lost friends or loved ones. The Share What You Love campaign aims to raise awareness of how we can all help by reaching out to those who don’t feel part of a community.
It could be anything from having a conversation with an elderly neighbour or visiting a local care home and making friends with some of the residents.
Pat believes the elderly in our society are often forgotten about and the best way to develop a sense of community is for younger generations to be more pro-active.
She said: “The younger ones need to involve themselves into the elderly, maybe going to a care home like this and sitting and talking to the ones that they can get a good insight into what life was like in the forties, fifties, and sixties because that’s when you had a real sense of community.”
Age UK found that over half a million elderly people throughout the UK will feel lonely this Christmas and have not reached out for help and half of those (52%), loneliness has become a “normal” part of life.
Jan Brown, who works at a care home believes loneliness is more prevalent in later life.
She said: “People feel loneliness the most at Christmas time because this is when people get together: it’s about happiness, lights, and laughter.
“As you get older, loneliness is more common because your spouse may have died, friendships might have changed, your family may have moved out and if you’re elderly you may be affected by disability, so your ability to go outside might be limited meaning that you spend more time inside and more time indoors.
“I would define loneliness as isolation, it can also have an impact on mental health as it can cause feelings of low mood, self-esteem and the inability to get out of bed in the morning. It’s that feeling of the four walls coming in and just having your TV and no other social contact which is the biggest factor in loneliness.”
“Factors that increase the risk of people feeling lonely is families moving away, people working more which could mean that there’s less time to see elderly relatives. The elderly person is then left to their own devices. Although many elderly people have carers, for some their carer might be the only person they see.
“We have to make people aware of the services available to them, not just social services like carers, home helps and meals on wheels. There are lots of community groups and voluntary groups, but it doesn’t always have to be a task. It could just be somebody from their local area popping in and checking in on them.
“Some elderly people out there might be sitting in a house on their own, they might not have the ability to even make themselves a Christmas dinner. And that’s what people forget.”
Brian Sloan, chief executive of Age Scotland is encouraging everyone to get involved through their new campaign.
“While most of us are looking forward to celebrating with friends and family, it’s sobering to think of almost 110,000 older people sitting down to dinner alone on Christmas Day.
“For those who have lost a loved one, there’s no doubt that this is the toughest time. Older people tell us they are dreading December 25th as it brings back too many memories of happy times and those who have passed away.
“We’re urging everyone to take a little time out from the pre-Christmas rush, and think of older friends, relatives or neighbours who might be feeling lonely.
“Something as simple as a friendly chat, a card or popping round for a cup of tea and a mince pie could really brighten someone’s day.”
Visit: https://www.ageuk.org.uk/scotland/our-impact/campaigns/share-what-you-love/
By Sophie McLean
